so sad

i've been in my room all day and becky has her boyfriend over and i can just hear them laughing and kissing and having fun and kaile's always with ryan and they are just so lucky. it makes me feel really lonely. i feel dizzy.

I cant stop won't stop thinking about sunkist. about to buy a can methinks.

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blizzard art

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oasis

im sitting at oasis, the falafel spot. just ate my falafel. ricky martin is on tv. im sitting at the bar on the window and it's so hot in the sun. feels so good. I wish I could take an oasis nap.

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effffffff

i think i screwed up on my license renewal. failing in 2011... blame it on the alcohol?

stupid shit

first of all, waking up at 2 am and not being able to sleep and now it's 6 am and i have to wake up for work in 2 hours. that really fucking sucks. so i'm just listening to old music that i haven't listened to in years and feeling nostalgic. decided to check out the old xanga. missing fall 2006. i broke a brew york city glass a little while ago. i'm still really glad about my new job but godddd it's rough being the new girl. real rough. and now i'm going to work tomorrow on no sleep (again).

change change it's time for change.

freak i have to go try to sleep for the next 2 hours bye.

age

some days i can't remember/decide if i am 22, 23, or 24. but i just remembered i'm 24. yuuuuck man. this age is gonna be rough, but i have a feeling by the time i'm 25 it will all be coming together!

su made me a necklace for my birthday. it rules. ummm. 8 days until my first paycheck. then i can resume semi-normal life! actually i probably won't resume semi-normal life until it's warm outside. winter recluse 4e. that is, of course, unless i'm drunk. ew i just realized my palms are sweaty. gross, dude. i need to figure out this license shiznit.

thank godddddd

first week at new job is out of the way. talk about high anxiety!!!!!! lots of tears and feeling weird. i'm still trying to figure out where to go from here. eh, i just need a second job. and less of a social life, i think. or a new one or something. that involves hanging out at coffee shops and apartments and cooking dinners and doing yoga and not so much going to bars and scoping out dudes. like sooooo played out. so 2010 if you ask me.

also probably fostering a cat soon! meow

i want to take care of animals and kids and jenna i don't care if you think it's weird. i love kids and babies a lot. i still miss zane cal and james a lot. maybe i can see them tomorrow.

fuck

i feel so irresponsible and depressed. i've spent 80 bucks in the past week on mistakes due to being too drunk, bad with money, or lazy. i don't know how to get out of this funk.

wish me luck

new job

here i go

babes

i have to track down the subway banjo babes and make them give me free lessons THEN WE WILL MAKE BEAUTIFUL MUSIC TOGETHER

day 3

today was day 3 booze free and i feel like a new woman. i'll keep you updated. tomorrow i might EXERCIZE. i know.

well

i think it's pretty safe to say i still have time for another episode of freaks and geeks. when you're unemployed and have no body clock or money, why not?, i say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today i probably did the BEST boots shopping on a budget in my entire life! i'd have to say i'm pretty proud. now i don't have to look like an orphan at work when i start! huzzah! life is good

i wanna talk about freaks and geeks but nobody else is awake :(

h2o11

all i really want to drink ever again is water. i definitely ended my old year drunk for like 3 days. well it's about time for me to start this new job and really embrace being poor happy and healthy. and being a better friend. and not being bummed that a doesn't love me back.